What's happening to me?

So, this morning we had a 6 mile temp run, but because of how I run, I did a 4 mile instead. I guess it's a habit, because I slowed down quite a bit after my first mile. Since I slowed down, I had an ok run. It bugged the crap out of me though that I go out to fast and then easily die off. I really friggin' want to be able to keep a good pace. It's weird too, because every time before a hard work out, I get a great mind set, I think. I think about what we are about to run and imagine me running really well and feeling great and it really gets me pumped to run, but then BOOM I friggin' mess up and feel like I did a ok run after words....... I gotta get back to doing the best I can, fight through the pain with no prob. Because I did a four mile near the end of summer at 22:59, and today was friggin' 24:35..... I'm so confused and need help! >.<

First XC race ever

I have to say it was a lot of fun. I was nervous, but kept it in line to do my best. I honestly don't know what happened after I finished mile 1, it started to get really tiring and my legs were really hard to pick up. As I look back on the race, I know for sure I can do better, but I'm glad I finished and I went all out. For sure my goal for next week at our next race is to just finish and go all out even more no matter how much pain I'm in. Also, racing seems to be very mind enduring because after the race on the cool down I felt fairly well, I mean yea I felt like I just ran a race, but I could have easily ran more if I had the right mind set. I seem to think too much on things. Maybe I shouldn't think about the pain I'll be going through during the race and just say that I feel amazing and run even faster. No matter what, I shall always do my best!

Running Log

August 21 - 7 miles @ 55:43

August 22 - 2.25 WU 4 mile @ 23:54 8X120m uphill .5 CD

August 23 - 12 miles @ 1Hr 30 Min 42 Sec

August 24 - 6 miles @ 43:46

August 25 - 6.4 miles @ 47:00

August 26 - 2 WU 3 mile @ 16:55 1 CD

August 27 - 6 miles @ 45:00 Core Circuit Cross Training @ 40 Min

August 28 - .9 WU 7 miles @ 44:14 .5 CD

August 29 - 4 miles @ 27:00 8X200m uphill .5 CD

August 30 - 9 miles @ 1 hour and 3 min

August 31 - 6 miles @ 45:10 Strength Training and Core Circuit

September 1 - 2 WU 8X1200 @ 4:26 average 8X120m uphill .5 CD Cross Training @ 30 minutes and Core Circuit

September 2 - 10 miles @ 1 hour 17 minutes Cross Training @ 45 minutes

September 3 - 6 miles @ 42 minutes 5 miles @ 33 minutes

September 4 - 4 miles @ 30 minutes Morris Invitational 1.5 WU 3 miles @ 18:17 1.5 CD

September 5 - 13 miles @ 1 hour 46 minutes 11 seconds

September 6 - 1.5 WU 4 miles @ 24:30 1.5 miles @ 9:30 8X120m uphill 1 CD

September 7 - 6 miles @ 44:44 Strength Training and Core Circuit

September 8 - 1.75 WU 8X1200 @ 4:28 average 8X120m uphill .5 CD Cross Training @ 45 minutes and Core Circuit

September 9 - 10 miles @ 1 hour 10 minutes Cross Training @ 45 minutes

September 10 - 6 miles @ 44:12 4 miles @ 28:07

September 11 - 4 miles @ 29:16

September 12 - 1.5 WU 4 miles @ 24:58 1 mile @ 5:36 1.5 CD

September 13 - 16 miles @ 1 hour 50 minutes

September 14 - 6 miles @ 44:31 Strength Training Phase 1 and Core Circuit

September 15 - 1.5 WU 6x1600 @ 6:01 average 8x120m uphill .75 CD

September 16 - 10 miles @ 1 hour 15 min Cross Training @ 35 min

September 17 - 6 miles @ 41:09 5 miles @ 35:30

September 18 - 8 miles @ 51:24

September 19 - 12 miles @ 1 hour 29 min 4 sec

September 20 - 14 miles @ 1 hour 42 min 7 sec

September 21 - 0 miles Cross Training @ 40 min

September 22 - 10 miles @ 1 hour 22 min 42 sec

September 23 - 1.5 WU 2X1200m @ 4:22,4:16 2X1600 @ 6:04, 6:03 3X800 @ 2:54, 3:00, 2:47 1 CD Cross Training @ 40 min Core Circuit 2

September 24 - 5 miles @ ~36 min

September 25 - 4 miles @ 32 min Islander Splash 2 WU 5 miles @ 31:28 1 CD

September 26 - 0 miles

September 27 - 9 miles @ 1 hour 3 min 10 sec

September 28 - 6 miles @ 45:08 Body Strength Training Routine Phase 1

September 29 - 1.5 WU 2X1200 @ 4:18, 4:17 2X1600 @ 6:00, 5:59 3X800 @ 2:52, 2:55, 2:48 1 CD Cross Training @ 50 min Core Circuit 2

September 30 - 10 miles @ 1 hour 16 min 41 sec Cross Training @ 1 hour

October 1 - 1.5 WU 4 mile temp @ 24:35 1 CD Core Circuit 3 4.17 miles @ 29:30